Mobissimo

It's bad enough you're stuck in a metal tube, in seats designed to replicate Medieval torture devices, eating food that you wouldn't feed your worst enemy. But the thought of adding a seat mate who spends the entire flight engaged in mindless jabbering on a cell phone is more than I can bear. Yet, Ryanair and now Emirates have both announced they are installing technology on their planes to allow passengers to yammer away to their heart's content mid-flight. If this truly becomes the future of air travel, I am scared. I just hope my headphone strategy, which works so well with seat talkers, will continue to work. If not, there are always cell phone jammers. Or an innocent stretch that knocks the cell phone loose. Or a cold, biting stare. Or smelly socks. I will call upon my full arsenal of deterrents to stop this infringement of my personal air space. It's an outrage I say. An outrage.