Mobissimo

I fly. I fly a lot. And sometimes, even I fly coach. And that's where problems start. Who owns the armrest? Can you get the upper part and he/she the back part? What about the guy hanging his coat from your seat? Do you put your seat upright while eating? Is it ok to punch out the old woman who thinks she can cut in front of the lavatory line? Wow, these are questions that you need answered, and here is the solution.

There are no formal requirements to buying an airplane ticket and boarding a plane, other than coming up with some cash and passing security. But maybe flying should be more of a privilege, with its own rule book.

Virginia Flores, a human resources and technical consultant to the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority, among other clients, flies every week for business and has come up with a comprehensive set of basic do's and don'ts for air passengers that I think is worth sharing. Its section titles suggest the almost kindergarten-like inability of some travelers to play well with others.

Virginia Flores, she's the end all be all apparently. Give it a shot, if anything, it's worth a chuckle. Little perturbed by her no drink and fly statement, that's the only way to fly, and with the booklets of free drinks that United gives me, they're begging me to get hammered, throw stuff, and get thrown off planes. Sh**, was that outloud? Anyway, sweet, get hammered, wake up in a different time zone.